unsplash-logoHelena Lopes

I don´t know. I thought a lot about friendship those days. Friendships are so important those days. I assume they are as important in the past like today, but on a personal level, I have to say that I´m really depending on those people. But what and who is a friend today? Since Facebook the word “friend” became so “general” because everyone in my buddy list is a “friend”?
No, actually it´s like that we use this word way too often. Most of those people we “name” friends are more like people that might be people you know , and that´s basically it. In the past weeks, I recognized that again while clicking through my “buddy list” on Facebook. Mostly my list contains people I know from business (including clients), some are back from my university times, some people I just met once or twice….and some few once are those friends mentioned above.
With clothes you have this rule “Throw away what you didn´t wear in the past 12 months.” If I would transfer this to a rule “kick out people you haven´t met at least one time in a year”, my buddy list would be cut by half instantly. But never the less…you keep them…but why? Am I afraid to lose contact completely? But on the other hand: Are those people worth keeping them on your radar? Is it worth spending time on people that obviously have no intention to invest the same time on this friendship like you are willing to.

Friends, that are only interested in having you that you benefit them in some way

Mostly a kind of friendship that is pretty annoying. Those people just invest as much in this friendship as necessary. They just text you on Faceboook on your birthday and the rest of the time the only thing that you will hear from them are, when they are in trouble or in need of something. Then you are the best friend alive and you get praised like never before. Well…what should I say? Those kind of friendships suck.  Because those are no friendships. It´s more like a business relationship. You keep them on the radar, because of the point to come:

Friends, that you are only interested in having them to benefit from them in some way

Like mentioned above, but just in reverse…you think it´s good to have such people in your buddy list because it might be possible that those people can be useful in some way. Like the first time of friendships, it´s good to have some people in your buddy list that might be useful in some ways. Maybe because they have good connections or they have some skills you might need some day. But again…it´s more like a business relationship.

Friends, that are no friends. They are just people.

Well, a lot of people you might know are just people where you ask yourself…”Why again do we know each other?”. You don´t text them, they don´t text you. May be (by accident) you meet then on a party or somewhere else and now they are here. You actually don’t know what to do with them (and mostly they just get forgotten).

True friends where u give a sh*** if you benefit from them and in reverse

The best ones….those few people where you don´t have any doubt that they will walk for you through hell and back….that you can call at night and an hour later they stay in front of your door. Or that call you at night, you are tired but you stay with them awake because they really need your words. And it doesn´t feel wrong…it feels absolutely right! You are tired as hell the next day, but you have that good feeling that you might helped this guy/girl.
The few true friends you have can not be cathegorized. They have not fulfilled any checkbox-list, but you have this feeling that they are a part of you. A part of what defines you. There is no jealousy if they archive something. You will celebrate them for any success because they will do the same. They are with you, no matter how far away they are. You feel safe and simply good just to know that they are there. You don’t have to have dozens of them. Actually only a handful of them is more then enough to make you a happy man/woman. Tressure them…and keep them as close as possible to you. They are your life savers on case of emergency.
I try that. Sometimes I simply can’t because of my workload or other things. But I won’t forget them…never.
So what every comes…well, I´m here…and this one is for you out there:

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